The Party Store

Posted on May 18, 2012 by admin

Every now and then I like to frequent our local liquor store to stock my bar. Our neighborhood store is nothing special, but has what I need when I need it. I have never paid a whole lot of attention to the sign as I entered the establishment. The sign clearly states that not only do they sell beer and wine, they also sell party supplies. Great. You never know when a party may break out and having a store with party supplies at your disposal is nothing but a posititve thing.

I walked into our neighborhood establishment and strolled through the isles. My bar was already stocked sufficiently, so alcohol was not on the list for this trip. Today’s trip was for nothing but party supplies.

I greeted the man behind the counter with a smile. “Hello” to him must mean,”please tell me every insignificant detail of yourself” as he proceeded to tell me about his day up to that point. Thanks. I care. This man was nothing but a distraction in my procurement of party supplies. I strolled through the isles, acknowledged the offer to help me find anything. I knew what I was looking for, I don’t want Mr. Annoying’s help. The store isn’t that big, and I think I can find the party supplies I was looking for.

A little time passed, and I continued my search for party supplies. Up and down every isle i looked for things that were necessary for a party (hence the name party supplies.) After thorough examination of the store three times over, I came to a startling conclusion. My idea of party supplies may be a little different than theirs. Here are the “party supplies” i found at the store.

Ice. Yup, ice is needed for parties. Afterall, its what keeps the beverages cold. A great party supply indeed. Unfortunately, this was the only thing we agreed on.

Porn. Racks and racks of all varieties of porn magazines lined one whole wall. I know some party people will tell you that a party isn’t a party without the latest issue of Greasy Babes. I tend to disagree. In my experience, nothing breaks up a party like that one crazy guy with his pants down screamin, “wooooo, I got the latest issue of Swank…its PARTY TIME!!!”

Lighters. Again, not my idea of a party supply. I gave up the lets burn things party a long time ago and I have think most normal adults have too. But what I seem to be learning here is that most normal adults are not buying their party supplies from a liquor store.

Beef Jerky. Okay, I don’t think I have to really expand on this. Anyone that EVER brings beef jerky to a party should be lit on fire with the lighter they most likely bought as well. If you must make a reference to beef jerky being the ultimate compliment to porn, you may do so. I’m not touching that one.

That’s it. That was all I could find that would even come close to being party supplies, no little parasols for drinks, not even a SOLO cup to be found.

Needless to say, I was a little disappointed, educated and a little weirded out at the same time. I like to think of it as the trifecta of human experience.

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Exactly What Does “stand Down” Mean?

Posted on May 15, 2012 by admin

While were certain that the phrase “stand down,” which we hear with unaccustomed frequency in reference to our someday departure from Iraq, has a long and venerable history, we still cannot help but be niggled by what appears to us the apparent illogic of the postural invocation.

While we are not certain about the general experience of the human race, we are at least in regard to ourselves, pretty well convinced that the idea of stand is strikingly at variance with the positional adjustment required to achieve the state of being down.

Although we may be a bit perverse in our preference or conditioning, it seems to us that when we stand, we greatly increase the likelihood that we will more nearly approximate the position usually described as up.

We certainly understand that there is perhaps a subtle resistance in the military and the White House to associate our adjustments to military and diplomatic events with any term that so flagrantly flirts with the negative connotations that lurk within the word down. Yet it still seems to us that logic is on our side and that it would not be irreparably incriminating to refer to the adjustment in terms of our departure from Iraq as standing aside, while we allow the Iraqi army to stand up.

If were being entirely unreasonable here, we apologize, but our sense of postural propriety tends to intrude from time to time on our capacity to be deaf to its more flagrant abuses.

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Feng Shui Bathroom Wealth

Posted on May 14, 2012 by admin

Feng Shui has tried, true, and time tested wealth strategies that integrate theories based on Feng Shui Elements. Feng Shui colors and tools such as the Feng Shui Baguato provide followers the secret keys to lasting prosperity. If you did a Feng Shui Study, you would be fascinated by the relationship Feng Shui establishes between the bathroom and wealth. Read on and you will not only help you discover new ways to improve prosperity but will also provide to deepen your understanding of this popular practice which has strong spiritual and scientific basis

Even if youre a Feng Shui beginner, youre probably familiar with Feng Shui bagua (Feng Shui map of a space), and know that family area is a good place for the living room, or that a Feng Shui office is best placed in the knowledge, wealth or career sectors. You may also know that Feng Shui bed room is best placed in the marriage corner of the Feng Shui house.
But do you know where the Feng Shui bathroom should be located if youre seeking wealth? Probably not but thats o.k. This article on Feng Shui bathroom wealth was written specifically to highlight the importance of a Feng Shui bathroom how it can increase or decrease wealth in your home.

As most of the Feng Shui practices have strong scientific basis, there are two important rules of thumb that you need to remember when deciding the location of a bathroom. First you need to know that, the bathroom and toilet are primarily governed by and driven by the element Water. In Feng Shui, Water is associated with wealth, prosperity, career and good cash flow. Secondly, you should keep in mind that bathrooms are associated with elimination and waste. With these two considerations in mind, it is easier to understand the main rules that apply to the layout and location of this space.

Without a clearly marked out space in Feng Shui bagua, the bathroom is a little out of place anywhere, but thanks to the time tested Feng Shui wisdom, you can easily identify problems with your bathroom (cash flow blockages, drained finances, etc.) that are detrimental to your wealth (it can block your cash flow, drain your finances, and add to your financial stress). Although some of locations are more troublesome than others, one of the best Feng Shui tips to keep in mind here is that a defective bathroom plumbing has a draining effect wherever it is located.

According to traditional Feng Shui some bathroom locations which can have negative effect on your wealth. These locations include:

Bathrooms next to or above the front door.
Bathrooms on the second floor directly above the kitchen or front door
Bathrooms in the center of the office
Bathrooms under the stairs

It may seem restrictive but the reasons are sound when you reason using Feng Shui principles. For instance a bathroom in the front hall, close to the door, or a bathroom at the end of straight hall way can drain Chi away before it has a chance to circulate through the rest of the house.

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Three Steps To Attracting More Satisfying Relationships

Posted on May 12, 2012 by admin

As long as the Law of Attraction has only the ‘DON’T want’ script, it is restricted to orchestrating that script over and over. We must give the Law of Attraction some NEW MATERIAL to work with.

What do you really want in your relationships? Security? Affection? Loyalty? Companionship? Communication? What?

Do you wonder why you keep attracting certain types of people into your life?

Are you tired of feeling disappointed in ‘love?

Have you ever been ‘blind-sided’ by someone you thought was a friend?

Do you feel desperate to find that special person you can live with forever?

Here are three steps that can help you in attracting more satisfying relationships:

Step 1: Make a thorough list of all the characteristics or scenarios of your past relationships that you DON’T WANT to experience again. You can use the T-toolTM for this exercise or just take a fresh sheet of paper and draw a large ‘T’ on it.

Label the left hand column: ‘I Don’t want’ and the right-hand column, ‘I Do Want’.

Ask your Inner Self to remind you of past events that you do NOT want repeated.

Write a few words about each event that express the essence of that event.

Step 2: Examine each item on the ‘I DON’T want …” side and ask yourself this question: “If I don’t want this, what DO I want?”

One major reason why we keep attracting the same unsatisfactory relationships is because we fail to use the contrast contained in those negative events to get clear about what we DO want.

Step 3: Write a Script about how you DO want your relationships to be:

As long as the Law of Attraction has only the ‘DON’T want’ Script, it is restricted to orchestrating that Script over and over. We must give the Law of Attraction some NEW MATERIAL to work with.

Scripting accesses all four parts of the brain.

The left brain which deals with words and logic;
The right brain which understands patterns and symbols ;
The mid-brain which experiences emotions; and
The brain stem which registers physical stimulation .

When we write a Script, starting with a phrase such as: “If I had my way…”, and use our imagination about that which feels good to us, we are accessing our right and mid-brain. A thought or feeling comes and we translate it into words (using the left brain) that symbolize the thought or feeling (right brain again). Writing the Script engages the body, which registers in the brain stem.

When all four parts of the brain are engaged, a powerful message is delivered to the Universe.

I like to end my Scripts with the phrase, “And do this in ways that are for my highest good and the highest good of everyone involved.” This is a phrase that helps me let go of ‘HOW” this will all happen, and allows the Law of Attraction to bring it about in the very best possible way.

Remember, the Law of Attraction brings us precisely what we vibrate. So if we want to experience relationships that are more satisfying, then we must change our dominant vibration to match the experiences we WANT to have.

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Bin Laden Releases Another Audiotape: Hideout Too Dark For Video

Posted on May 9, 2012 by admin

Apparently, unable to contain his enthusiasm for bumming out the relatively nice and unsuspecting folks who make up much of the Western World, the misinformed medievalist has released another drearily threatening audiotape. Since the combined political, military, and intelligence resources of the civilized world cannot locate the potato head, we suggest the audiotape be taken as an opportunity to arrest him.

Here’s how. Somebody buys the resourceful recluse a video camera and battery-powered lights. Since he long delighted to display his narcissistic self and give voice to his lamentable disjunction with informed thought, we assume that either he is not currently in possession of a video camera or that he is hunkered down in a hideout that is too dark to shoot anything but firearms.

It cannot be that he is afraid a video will reveal his location, because he always has the option of hanging the same kind of chintzy curtain behind him that his original second in medieval misguidance, Aman al-Zawahiri, uses when he comes out of the cave long enough for his eyes to adjust to the light to make an inflammatory video, with, weve noticed, production values that are on about the same level as a commercial for a discount chain thats struggling to get foothold in a Mexican border town.

The only condition is, upon receipt of the equipment, OBL has to agree to make a video about directions to his hideout. To prolong his short-lived celebrity, he can even deliver it in installments. The media will be wild for it.

We do not know why he will not accept this opportunity for the worldwide display of his long-cramped ego, because, at last report, he only had four wives, and, if he believes his own deadly dumb preachments, after he goes to the paradise of his overheated and woefully misguided imagination, he can have twenty-seven virgins.

Of course, we must interject that any man with four wives who would contemplate having twenty-seven virgins as a good time has done very little reflection on what its really like to have four mates and has exceedingly little experience with virgins.

He neednt be excessively concerned about these impossible complications, however, because, as linguistic analysis has sometime ago revealed, the Arabic word for virgin may also mean grape, depending on whether or not it occurs with a grave. It appears that, in the particular context in which he has applied it to assure the ready suicide of fellow but somewhat more imbecilic emanations from The Dark Ages, the meaning is 27 grapes. So the mad, mad Muslims slammed into our World Trade Center which was, in fact, a mutual treasure of the human race, erected to facilitate worldwide economic competence and development and incinerated nearly three thousand of our beloved, hard-working and comparatively normal people did it to reap imaginary rewards they could have picked up at a fruit market.

Meanwhile, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, his lackey whos not an Iraqi, did his boss in absentia one better. Spiffily attired in black as a cool enemy of humanity, he rattled on with the same ill-informed drivel he and his mentor have both become wanted for, even by their own people.

Ah, what a toll we must pay for the deadly duo of ignorance and backwardness! Witness the unconscionable bombing in the Egyptian resort of Dahab, apparently timed to follow OBLs latest audio-only pontification.

How do people who have no feeling for their fellow human beings expect anyone to do anything but excoriate and execute them? Somebody ought to tell them that fellow-feeling is actually the major sentiment that makes the human race worthy of its own continuance upon this blessed but blighted earth.

As for OBL, when will some real-life Indiana Jones find out where he is hiding, so we can finally give the misguided pest his overdue rest?

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How To Succeed And Stay On Task With Your Internet Marketing Promotion Strategies. A.c.t.i.o.n.

Posted on May 5, 2012 by admin

Working from home can get stressful. With all the distractions presented to you each day, you need an effective way to stay focused. When working online, it is difficult to always stay on task and not get sidetracked.

The difference between those who succeed and those who don’t can be summed up by one simple word. A.C.T.I.O.N. Use this acronym to motivate yourself to stay on top of your daily plan.

Automate as many things as possible. You can do this with autoresponders, mailing list filters, signature emails and other tools of this type.

Catagorize your daily to-do’s and make sure your highest priority is always on the top of the list.

Target. Know your target audiience, Also know your target goal of what you want to accomplish each day and make sure it gets the most attention it deserves.

Invent and Inspire Every day, jot down notes — ideas on how to promote your site and ideas for new articles. Keep yourself motivated and inspired by setting a goal to promote at least one new article or product each week.

Open and reply to emails at set times and for a limited amount of time each day. Don’t let this daily task get overwhelming. Go back to the first step and automate as much as you can.

Negotiate with other online marketers and webmasters. You will be amazed at how much you can learn and benefit from working with other people when you both have common goals in mind.

By following this formula you wll be able to stay more on top of the most important element of business. That would be promoting your products and thus increasing your earning revenue.

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April Fools Trick

Posted on May 4, 2012 by admin

One of the best and funniest April Fools tricks was invented and played by me last year. I should say that my friend and me used to make fun of each other regularly on April Fools Day with varying success. That is my friend was on his guard and knew he should be ready for my dirty tricks, which made the task almost impossible to carry out.

Last year not long before April Fools Day Andrey returned from Canada, where hed been on a business trip (both of us work as translators of English for one company but on different floors). On April 1st I called Andrey, having arranged beforehand that the telephone girl should interrupt our conversation in a couple of minutes and say that Mr. Andrey Polyarov has a call from Canada. After that she put him through with another telephone in our room, and I quickly answered it. I should say that to change my voice and create the effect of long-distance call I wrapped the blower with a sweater and made use of loud speaker instead of receiver. A lot of people were standing still around me, excited that Andrey might recognize my voice. But their fears were groundless he had no smallest piece of suspicion!

I started speaking in English, my voice being loud and very formal:

–Is this Mr. Andrey Polyarov?

Andrey, a little anxious, replies:

–Yes, this is me? Who am I talking to?

–This is Otrinto company, where on March 11th you ordered two commercial vending machines of a total value of 3,141 Canadian dollars

-But I havent ordered any vending machines

-Excuse me, is this Mr. Polyarov?

-Yes, this is me, but I havent ordered any vending machines, and Im not going to pay anything. Andrey was starting to lose his patience. I went on insisting

-Im sorry but I have an order with your signature. By the way I remember you pretty well youre a Russian, stout, baldish, speaking with accent, right?

-Right! But I repeat that I havent ordered these fucken vending machines

-Sir, I should warn you that in case on non-payment within a reasonable time well have to bring a legal action!

Andrey finally lost his temper, started yelling that he never knew any Otrinto company, never ordered anything and that I could stick my vending machines up my ass

The audience in our room couldnt suppress a laugh, every word from underneath the sweater resulted in a burst of Homeric laughter. I was chuckling myself and couldnt speak and play my role anymore. I tried to clear the air.

-Andrey, this is me, Denis, April Fool! but it was vain. Andrey was shouting that he knew no Denis. He wasnt even realizing that I was speaking Russian to him

Of course I could go on further, providing Andrey with the details of his appearance, passport number, address Thats what I had planned actually, but as I say it was absolutely impossible as my last words werent pronounced but were gurgling through the choking laughter.

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Where Souls Meet

Posted on May 1, 2012 by admin

The more you understand about any subject, the more interesting it becomes. As you read this article you’ll find that the subject of human beings meeting in soul is certainly no exception.

This is done in several ways:

You can do this as you care for a dying loved one.

You can do this in putting a bandaide on a child who is hurt.

You can do this when you offer forgiveness to someone who has harmed you.

You essentually do this any time you reach out to help someone in need.

You meet in soul when a baby is born.

You meet in soul each moment of living when you remember who you are.

Truthfully, the only difference between you and the so-called gurus is time. If you’ll invest a little more time in reading and living, you’ll be that much closer to maturity status when it comes to living in soul. Learning how to live in soul requires reflective analysis and the ability to learn from your mistakes. Insodoing, we gain in wisdom through remembering who we really are. The instant we remember we are souls having a human experience creates in us a journey into what is most sacred to us.

This is the key to maturing in soul. “Insight” means to see from within. The moment you begin to see through your eyes and not just with them makes you a visionary. A “Visionary” follows his or her dreams or inner visions within them. This is an “act in faith” as though something is already here before it arrives. At this point, you begin to put into place the details of your overall vision through yourself and others.

If your inner vision involves helping someone, yourself, or something die, you will need to draw much of your attention inward. This will enable you to create a vision that will help someone or yourself find comfort in becoming more soul than body over time. If your task is to help something or an event die, your job is to transform this experience into something different. Nothing stays the same. We are all in transformation. Transformation means to go beyond form. It is out of the formless all things become form. Everyone of us have this capacity.

Somehow, in the midst of change and sharing our joys and our sorrows, our hearts meet to care. This is the level of soul care and soul healing not meant to be understood, but rather, embraced. Here our souls meet and come to fulfill a purpose and a destiny.

Hopefully the sections above have contributed to your understanding of Souls meeting one another. Share your new understanding about Where Souls Meet with others. They’ll thank you for it.

Samuel Oliver, author of, “What the Dying Teach Us: Lessons on Living”

For more information on this author; http://www.soulandspirit.org

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Who Am I?

Posted on April 30, 2012 by admin

Who am I? What come to mind when you ask this of yourself? How many different memories, ideas, and things seem like a part of you? What do you identify with? Does this process of identification help you, or just cause suffering?

Perhaps when your favorite basketball team loses, you suffer as though YOU lost. When your car is damaged it feels like YOU are hurt. When somebody attacks who they think you are, it seems as though they actually reach inside and poke at your true self. How can you escape this unecessary drama and pain?

Perhaps by seeing who and what you are not. Seeing the process of identification clearly can free you from the ego attachments that cause you to suffer. There is a simple meditation that can help you with this.

Who Am I – A Meditation On Self Identity

Sit or lay comfortably in a quiet place. Relax, close your eyes, and take several deep breaths. Breath through your nose, eventually letting your breathing fall into a natural pattern. Pay attention to your breath, to the air moving in and out of your lungs and nose. Let the tension drain from your body.

Ask the question in your mind, “Where am I?” Then ask, “What am I?” and “Who am I?” Just let these questions sit for a moment in your mind.

Become aware of your body, and consider your leg. Would you cease to exist if you lost it? Are you your leg? Continue through the parts of your body, asking of each part, “Am I here?” and “Is this what I am?”

Then open your eyes and look around. Are you any of these things? You might feel pain when your favorite chair breaks, as though it were you, but you are not that chair. Which of these things you own are you? Ask these questions. Ask, “Am I this?”

Now close your eyes again and say your name in your mind. Is there a sense of identity? And if you had no name? Ask yourself “Am I really…” and say your name again. Consider what the most honest answer is. Try saying “I am…” and insert any other name. Note how, when you call yourself by another name, you feel differently. You have a name-identity that is a collection of ideas, something seen differently by you and others.

Let feelings arise, and ask “Am I this fear?… this pain, sadness, desire, pleasure, or anger? You can see that your feelings are not you – they just pass through you. Clothes, body, reputation – none of it is your true self-identity, is it?

Continue this meditation for twenty minutes or so. Take a deep breath and get up, noticing if you feel different – maybe less worried or less attached to things, feelings and thoughts. Repeat the meditation as often as necessary, to remind you of what you are not. Oh, and you really don’t need to answer the question, “Who am I?”

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Creative Imagination

Posted on April 30, 2012 by admin

Creative imagination is more than just active imagination. To be able to actively imagine things, to see and hear things in one’s mind, is an important ability. It doesn’t have to involve much creativity, though, does it? Daydreaming, for example, is a process of imagination. It can consist of an elaborate fantasy world, but one full of all the things that many people think about.

Creative imagination, then, has to include the ability not just to imagine things, but to imagine original things. It is seeing things that others don’t see, and coming up with new ideas. So how do you cultivate this?

Creative Imagination 101

First, exercise your basic imagination. It can be as simple as thinking in pictures more, or listening to music in your mind. Play little “movies” in your mind, until you can watch them on command. This is a simple process, but for those of us that can’t easily do it naturally, it can take a lot of practice. Fortunately, it is not an unpleasant activity.

The second part of developing your creative imagination is to get more creative in your thinking and imagining. Start by paying attention to your creativity. Our subconscious minds give us more of what we pay attention to. Ignore creative aspects of your life, and you’re telling your subconscious they are unimportant. On the other hand, if you note when you’re creative, your subconscious mind will start feeding you more creative ideas.

Different surroundings can also encourage your creativity. Want more creativity in your love life? Hike up a mountain with your partner. Do you write? Try sitting on a roof to write. Want new ideas for your business? Take a notebook to the park and sit by the duck pond. A change of environment can get your thinking out of it’s ruts.

You can play games that exercise your creative imagination. One such game uses a technique called “concept combination.” Alone or with other players, you combine random concepts or things in new ways, to see who has the best idea. A thermometer and a billboard, for example, could generate an idea for a sign that checks the weather and adjusts the message accordingly (“Come in out of the heat for a cold beverage,” or “Come in out of the rain and warm up with our gourmet coffee.”).

Don’t Wait For Creative Imagination

Creative inspiration certainly can strike at any time, but it strikes more often when there is work instead of waiting. So if you want to come up with creative inventions, start mentally redesigning everything you see. Imagine a better bicycle, a faster mail service, or a better chair. Continue this for three weeks, and it will become a habit.

Of course, creative imagination goes beyond solving specific problems or inventing things. Truly creative minds are always coming up with the questions too, not just the solutions. If you want to be more creative all the time, focus on three things:

1. Changing your perspective. A child might think that working just to not work (to retire) is silly. Thinking from that perspective might give you ideas for how to make money doing things you enjoy. Seeing the world as a bear sees it might give a painter imaginative new ideas. Looking at things from a customer’s perspective is a sure way to find creative improvements for a business. See everything from several perspectives.

2. Challenging your assumptions. What if restaurants didn’t have employees? Visitors pay a machine as they enter, feed themselves at a buffet, and everything is as automated as possible, so one owner-operator could run a large restaurant alone. Challenge all your assumptions for practice. Do you really have to pay rent? Do swimming pools need water? Can exercise be a bad thing?

3. Let your ideas run wild. Does a flying bed seem silly? It could lead to the concept of a helium mattress. When you get off it in the morning, it floats out of the way, up to the ceiling. Perfect for small apartments. Don’t stifle your creativity. Relax, and let ideas come. You can always discard them later.

For these techniques to be a habitual part of your thinking, use them regularly. Since it takes several weeks to develop a habit, remind yourself to use them each day. Jot a few of your favorite techniques on a card and carry it with you. Look it over throughout the day and apply the techniques to anything. Soon, you’ll have a more creative imagination.

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